As a therapist I counseled Gay African American Men living with HIV or Aids and substance use disorders. These were the early 1990's prior to effective medication for HIV and increased life expectancy. Many clinicians and clients back then viewed a HIV diagnosis as ‘an immediate death sentence’. This post reflects those early years.
The Impact of solid recovery prior to HIV diagnosis – The African American clients I worked with that had 2 or more years of recovery prior to their HIV diagnosis, were much more successful in maintaining their recovery compared to those little to no recovery prior to the HIV diagnosis. A lesson learned is how quality recovery can equip clients with tools to cope with life challenges. This can include: loss, divorce, evictions, and progressive medical diagnoses.
Resilience and empowerment – A well know African American HIV Case Manager, upon sharing news of a positive diagnosis with African American male clients would say to his clients, "You have survived being a Black man in America and homophobia. You'll handle this too.” Tennis star Arthur Ashe was diagnosed with Aids following a blood transfusion. Ash stated, "Living with Aids has not been the greatest challenge of my life. The greatest challenge has been being a Black man in America."
Purpose and desire to help the Black Community – In groups many of these men reported that they were living their life purpose for the first time in their life, after being diagnosed with HIV or Aids. Renowned psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl said the most common source of life purpose is life pain. In group one client stated, “Because of internalized homophobia, I was a people pleaser my entire life. After being diagnosed I am living my life for the first time without being a people pleaser. My purpose is to be happy!" Another client stated, "The last 10 years I stole things and I sold my body to pay for drugs. Now I found my purpose. Every week I go to a different mid-week church service in a Black neighborhood, share my story and give the church a wakeup call. I tell them that members of their congregation and community they serve are possibly HIV positive and they needed to take off their blinders and do something." His testimony and advocacy led to the formation of several church based HIV Ministries.
Anchoring recovery in the natural environment – A young African American man in recovery had sex with a partner. After the partner shared a few weeks later that they were HIV positive, the young man took an HIV test. Back then one had to wait 30 days for HIV tests results. He stated, "The wait seemed like forever! While I waited, I had a conversation with God. I said to God, if you let this HIV test come back negative, I will commit my life to helping members of the community who are HIV positive.” His HIV test was negative. He started a non-profit program which provided support groups and advocacy in the African American community for individuals living with HIV and addiction.
Harm reduction – Harm reduction is quite popular today. Three decades ago outreach workers in African American communities promoted harm reduction through regular condom distribution. They would encourage members of the community who were not HIV positive to wear condoms to avoid HIV infection. If they were already HIV positive the outreach workers would encourage condom use to avoid reinfection and to avoid infecting others. They provided needle exchange activities to reduce HIV transmission for IV drug users and methadone maintenance as an alternative to heroin addiction. A well-known medical doctor was accused of genocide because of his promotion of methadone in Black communities. The doctor stated, "I now feel vindicated because I know my prescription of methadone helped prevent many cases of HIV because with methadone there is no risk of needle sharing.” At a conference an African American harm reductionist stated "Harm reduction is community determined. In my community harm reduction is about jobs. When unemployment is high, despair sets in. Heroin use increases and so does the spread of HIV."
Heathy Suspicion vs. paranoia – Many members of the African American community were suspicious about the HIV virus. Many believed that HIV was a ‘nan made virus’ created to eliminate the Black community and some feared taking HIV medication. They were accused of being paranoid by non-African Americans. This was discussed in a forum at an HIV conference and a Black psychologist weighed in. "What some people view as paranoia, in the black community is actually healthy suspicion. All you have to do is remember the Tuskegee experiment and you can see how some members of the black community would be suspicious of HIV and the medicine to treat it." A white male at the conference, who identified himself as a person living with Aids spoke next. While coughing he said, "When people in communities of color say the issues around HIV in their community are different, we need to believe them!"
This was some of the most rewarding work of my life!